I will be honest here, asking for blurbs is probably my least favorite part of publishing a book. For me, asking for blurbs feels like a special, personal way to open the door for rejection. Not just the rejection of a poem or manuscript, but the rejection of support.
I know I should not look at this way, but because it's always been hard for me to ask favors of others or ask for help, getting a blurb feels a little like mailing my metaphorical heart to someone and seeing if they hold it in their hands gently, ignore it completely, or mail it back to me with a note, "Return to Sender."
Yes, I am over-dramatic about the blurb request because it makes me feel
I was HUGELY thankful that White Pine Press got me a blurb from Carl Dennis as he chose my manuscript and is a poet I deeply admire and respect as well as whose poems I enjoy as a reader myself. And his blurb still makes me happy when I read it.
But getting other blurbs, yes, I had to ask poets for them and again it brought up deep insecurities of me-- Would they say yes? Would I be rejected?
Sometimes the idea of emotional pain is worse than the actual pain itself. Still, I try to protect myself.
For me, I only ask poets I know on a personal level for blurbs. While I would LOVE a blurb from Bob Hicok, I do not know him except for my awkward neanderthal meeting where I said something like, "Me have your book. You sign?" And because of that, I only asked poets I know on a personal level, poets whose work I love, and poets I feel I have a decent relationship with.
So who did I ask?
Peggy Shumaker (author of Gnawed Bones, Underground Rivers & Blaze as well as the memoir, Just Breathe Normally) - I asked Peggy because she is probably one of my favorite all time people. She is someone I admire, respect and feel incredible safe with. I was not afraid to ask Peggy because she is a poet who will hold your heart in her hands and not drop it. Ever. Yes, she is that wonderful.
Jeannine Hall Gailey (author of Becoming the Villainess) - In a funny way, asking J9 for a blurb was like asking a favorite smart rich aunt for a blurb as I knew that 1) she would always come through for me 2) she knows me & my work better than most and sees insights that others miss 3) she is extremely generous and would write a blurb I would love.
Jeannine is one of the best readers of poetry I've encountered. She catches the themes and nuances in work that others miss (Annette Spaulding-Convy, my co-editor at Crab Creek Review) is the other incredible poetry reader in my life. Anyway, I felt good asking J9 because she always comes through for me. I knew she would & she did!
Carolyn Forche' (author of The Country Between Us & Blue Hour) - Carolyn has always been one of my favorite poets. Having worked with her at a Centrum class & finding her incredible kind & inspiring, I spent a week with her (as well as poets Susan Rich & Jennifer Lawrence) at Hedgebrook. Carolyn is incredible in so many ways. She is both smart and beautiful, inside and out.
I was nervous asking Carolyn because if she said no, I knew I'd feel hurt, but I risked it and she in her generosity, came through for me with wonderful words about my book. I feel quite honored and thrilled to have her support of my work.
Albert Goldbarth - (author of The Kitchen Sink: New and Selected Poems, 1972-2007 & Budget Travel through Space and Time: Poems) This is where the lovefest, happy-ending ends. Of the 4 poets I asked, this was no, my non-response. I worked with Albert for a year in my MFA program and is someone who I both admire as a poet and honestly like as a person. I know a lot of people are annoyed by him and his wit/sharpness/humor/insensitivity. But I have never found him to be anything but kind.
Asking Albert though is never easy as he lives in a world that exists in about the year 1987. There are cellphones in his life, but not computers or emails. He types his letters and writes only through snailmail.
I have Albert's phone number and could have called him to ask for a blurb, but was too nervous about being rejected over the phone and mailed him letter. That was 4-5 months ago. This was the heart that was not returned, but ignored. I know Albert is ridiculously busy, but normally, he responds to letters, so this is my blurb rejection. This is the one that by not saying no, said no.
So it's a 75% yes rate, with extra credit points for the Carl Dennis blurb I didn't have to ask for.
4 blurbs, which is great. Enough to feel as if I have some hands holding me as I enter into into the big poetry world, the sea of books floating around. The ones who said yes are my life rafts, something I can hold onto if the waters feel choppy.
If I could give you my advice when asking for blurbs, it would be:
1) Ask poets you know and whose work you love & admire, don't just ask "the big names"
2) Ask with the hope of yes, but not with all the emotional drama that I carry, that if the poet says no, do not take it personal -- (Yes, this is a do as I say, not as I do advice. Honestly, I do not recommend viewing asking a blurb as giving someone your heart, that's just not healthy to do-- you can trust me here).
3) Give the poet PLENTY of time, at least 2 months. That gives one month to procrastinate and one month to get it done.
4) Make it easy on them, get them what they need - mail them the mss if they prefer to read off of paper instead of a computer, ask them if there is anything they need from you to make it easier.
5) Say thank you sincerely when it's written. Send a handwritten note (and not an email) and maybe even a little token of your thanks (a bookmark, etc.) and definitely mail them a copy of the book when it's done.
I've written blurbs for people and it can be difficult and timely. Make sure you acknowledge what they did for you and your appreciation for it.
Also, if you don't like the blurb, I honestly feel that is your problem and it shouldn't be rewritten to fit your needs. The correct answer is always-- thank you for your time. Not a critique of the blurb. Be grateful, not judgmental.
I'm kind of amused at myself for writing this post given how terrible I am at asking (but I do ask) and have definitely mastered the "thank you." But I thought maybe you'd like to hear the behind-the-scenes crazy emotions I feel in regards to asking as well as knowing that it doesn't always work out perfectly or at all.
As my book moves closer to publication, sometimes I still have hope Albert will respond too (no, I have not written again, I suck at being pushy or assertive sometimes). And it gives me a reason to check my mailbox. But even with his no, or his no response, I'm over the stars about the blurbs I did get. As hard as it was to ask, I'm glad I did.