Confession Tuesday -

Dear Readers,

I just realized that it's Tuesday!  In the summer, days of the week slide off our deck and into the saltwater roses.

But what to confess in these days when I can't even remember what I've done, where I've been, what I can share with you.

I'm not sure, so let's begin....

I confess we are painting our house pretty much the same color it was.

I am confessing this because it makes me laugh given that 1) our house is 13 years overdue for its paint job and 2) we've talked for 13 years about changing the color to a "more updated blue" and yet when the time comes, we basically choose the same color it was.

This is not to say we didn't try.  Our first choice was Grey Blue, but when the painter put up a sample on the walls, my stomach became a knot and I knew this was not the right color.  And the other blues seemed so boring, they were every blue house blue.

So we bought a quart of our second choice:  Old Blue Sea by Parker Paints and put it on.  Perfect!  Exactly what we wanted!  Our house, blue with a yellow (Hawthorne Yellow to be exact) door.

It was one of those moments in life when we realized that we were actually happy with what we had.

It was kind of an amazing discovery, to have 1000 paint choices and to choose one so close to what we've lived with for 13 years made me laugh, to think there is a better color in the world and then to have the opportunity to take it and we choose "the same, please."

In a certain way, I wonder if this is life.

If we have the opportunity to choose (and we do) a new life and we stay with what we have, what does that mean?  Are we afraid of change or maybe we realize we are happier with what we have than we think.

Anyway, I love that my house is painted Old Blue Sea with a Hawthorne Yellow door.  Words matter.

~

I confess I was annoyed at names of paint that had negative vibes to them like Rising Smoke.  My husband is a firefighter, I am not painting my house with a paint color called Rising Smoke.  To me, that would be like painting my house "Arsonist's Fodder" or "Burns Easily."

I am weird this way.  I could never name a child Mallory because it means Unlucky, even though I know there are many lucky Mallorys in the world (and I love this name for Family Ties alone), for me, knowing the definition of this name would cause me to carry a skewed perspective.

~

Also, I confess I learned something that is pretty incredible.  If you have trouble sleeping, wear socks to bed.  Seriously.  Apparently (even in the summer) many of us can get cold (um, and have cold feet) and by wearing socks, it can allow you to sleep through the night and help with insomnia.

Since I was 24 I've had sleep issues where my dreams are so real and I sleep so hard, I interact with the real world as if it were part of my dream.

I will wake up (still asleep) and believe that many years ago a doctor gave me medication to take and I have never taken it and my life is being cut short.  Or that we have a pet I've neglected.  Or there is a bird living in my armoire and I've forgotten to feed it.  Or I've lost my wedding ring.  All anxiety dreams.

I realize this has been going on for 17 years now.   (I've just learned to live with it.)

But the socks help.

Little things, they make a difference.  Thank you, socks.


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