Confession Tuesday

Another week and summer begins its last steps towards autumn. I confess, I'm looking forward to fall. I have cleaned my writing shed and brought in a vase of blue flowers.

I confess I haven't really felt as if I've had anything interesting to say this summer and may go back to taking the summer off. If I could describe my brain in summer, it is that teenage girl on the beach asleep.

I confess I will not enter the Tampa Poetry Prize until they start choosing women poets as winners and finalists.

I confess I bought more Simpson stamps to use on my bills. I also bought "Early Memories" with black and white photos of 50's TV shows to use for personal correspondance and submissions.

I confess I Love Lucy is still my favorite show and my first crush was Ricky Ricardo.

I confess Howdy Doody always freaked me out as do clowns.

I confess I like men in black plastic rimmed glasses - think Elvis Costello or any hipster-dufus type with his black intellectuals on.

I confess when people seem "too normal" they scare me.

I confess I like to be with people who are working through things and are passionate about something else beside their kids.

I confess there were years when my daughter was young, I was the person who had lost herself.

I confess summer is when I feel less anxious, but fall and winter is when I do my best work. The gray sky and rain may send me into a dark cloud, but I'm thankful (even when I am in my own special funk) to be writing.

I confess it kind of scares me that when the weather/season changes, I may be caught off-guard emotionally and have to go through those sad feelings again that I sometimes get in autumn.

I confess last autumn was my worst ever and I stopped submitting because I thought my work and calling myself a writer was a waste of time.

I confess even though I am a little worried that the season's change will affect me emotionally and I could slip into another funk, I am still looking forward to autumn...