It's been a week of sugar, wrapping paper, hospital visits, and ferry rides since my last confession. I confess I realize that one can actually eat too much fudge, that looking out the window doesn't make the decorations go away, and that things can change in a moment...
To the confessional--
I confess that my Nana's fall and broken hip at 99 years old has made me consider my own life and what I want from it. I realize that I'm not sure I want to live until 100, perhaps, 92 would be a good number. If that is the case, it seems that in 3 years I'll be celebrating the half of my life or maybe I've already celebrated half of my life.
This is the weird thing about living, we don't quite know if we will be like my Nana and live past 99 or if we will be the 9 year old girl who was killed by a falling tree on Christmas Day in my state.
The not-knowing is both a luxury and something that also sucks.
Should we be saving all our money for retirement because we will late into our 90's or will we be the car crash, the early heart attack?
It makes me think a lot about moderation and how I use my time.
In the next week and as the new year arrives, I'm looking closely at my choices in life. And with a new year, comes new beginnings and I ask myself, "What can I do better?"
I confess I will be making new year's resolutions this year as I always do. The main one being less internet, more words. Meaning-- write more than I read.
I bought a sketchbook One-Sketch-a-Day and plan to draw in it daily. (Maybe I'll share a few sketches here --would you want to see that?)
I confess many times at the new year I remind myself of my motto-- Experiences before things. Meaning--- I have a certain amount of money each year, I would rather use that $$ on experiences than things.
I want to make sure that my money makes memories, not clutter.
If you're been reading this blog for the last couple months, you may have noticed the word "scattered"-- I confess I have used it to describe my emotional/intellectual/spiritual state and pretty much as the adjective of how I felt much the final months of 2011.
I am putting this adjective away for 2012. I'm packing it in a bag and sending it off to the Island of Self-Fulfilling Prophecy words.
And my word of the year? Faith. Faith that I will end up where I need to be and the right doors will open. Faith that I'll know where I need to be what I need to be doing. Faith that things will work out.