Friday, December 30, 2011

New Year's Resolutions: Loving Your Family's Quirks


I love New Year's Resolutions because my inner Capricorn is always looking for a project to fix and what's more perfect than a human (myself)?  We humans are filled with quirks, from the way I am happier if the microwave has no time left on it (I always clear it to zero if I see someone has pulled their food out with 00:08 left) to the way I tell my husband I will be ready in seven minutes (not five or ten, but seven).

Each year my family and I go around and ask each other what resolutions we'd like each other to work on.  (Okay, honestly, if I didn't make us sit down and do this, it wouldn't happen, my husband and daughter are absolutely fine not making resolutions).  This year my husband came up with "overlook each other quirks" for all of us and I think this is a great idea.  When you live with someone for X number of years, what used to be a cute quirk becomes a huge annoyance.

For example, I am always the last one in the car.  It doesn't matter if I'm the first one ready, but before we leave the house, I always have to do a check of all the rooms, make sure everything is off, grab a book, a magazine, a journal & pen, then make sure I have coffee and/or a snack, then check one more time to make sure the space heater is really off in my office.

I have patient family members.  I have gone out into the car 3-10 minutes later to find them casual sitting and talking while waiting for me.  If they wanted to, they could be completely annoyed with this behavior and I would have to agree with them.  (I know I would probably be completely annoyed if either of them had this behavior.)  But they aren't.  They are able to see that "This is Mom.  Mom is from another planet where space heaters turn on by themselves and she needs to make sure this didn't happen or the house will burn down... of course."

And with my family overlooking my quirks (from my bad habit of feeding our golden retriever at the table to talking to the cats as if they are babies), I will overlook theirs-- from a half-drank coffee cup (with cream) left in my office to the music playing extra loud from behind the closed bedroom door.

There has been a saying going through my head lately:  The days are long, but life is short.  

I remind myself that all the things that annoy me now, I will miss at some later date.

These are our lives, made up with quirks and bothers, with shoes dropped off at the door, coats thrown on the bench and not hung up.  There will be a time when my daughter will be grown and I will miss that there are less coats in my home and ache for a few moments with the young girl who threw it there.

Cheers to tolerance, love, and understanding for all of us.

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1 comment:

Jennifer said...

That sounds like an excellent resolution. I have been letting things rub me the wrong way a lot lately, and I need a bit more of a water of a duck's back approach to life this year.

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