Monday, April 13, 2009
Confession Tuesday - Late Night Edition
Drawing from INDEXED (my new favorite blog)
Dear Reader, I confess I have been busy ranting and am behind in my poems. Forgive me for my loudness and lateness. I will catch up and quiet down.
I'm coming down from an Easter Weekend of chocolate bunnies and chaotic news.
What I'm happy about-- the Navy Seals and their heroness. Sharp-shooters absolutely amaze me and while I'm not a fan of guns, I am a fan of saving the day and of people with skills. I cannot imagine what that captain's family was going through and I am thankful this father/husband/captain is alive.
What I'm sad about-- Poet Deborah Digges committed suicide this weekend. and it seems this is something I've typed before, a writer commits suicide. There's help out there if you need it--
National suicide prevention lifeline: Suicide hotline, 24/7 free and confidential, 132 crisis centers nationwide 1-800-273-TALK.
What I'm thinking about-- the Amazon clusterglitch. Sales rankings are returning, C. Dale & Peter's are back, they are easily searchable poets again. I'm still not convinced about an honest mistake, the conspiracy theorist in me tends to believe someone had a personal agenda, while the spiritual optimist wants to believe no.
But I'm not ready to jump back on the Amazon bandwagon. This whole event has made me think about how much power I want to give one bookseller. If Amazon ever wanted to censor a group of writers, they could. And maybe it wouldn't be noticed. If they wanted to make it harder to find certain books, they could do that too. I'm not that's good for anyone.
In the end, I realize no matter whether targeted mark on a group of people or just a mistake, it was a good reminder for me to return to my local indie booksellers as I realize, I don't want to lose them. And I'm glad to see the uproar against Amazon, it tells me that people are paying attention and ready to fight for their rights and the rights of others-- that is a good thing too.
This weekend I overindulged in orange jellybeans and chocolate eggs.
I had no idea what "ham-fisted" meant and had to look it up.
I have never seen an episode of American Idol.
I have learned that no one is ever anonymous on the internet, we are all marked in time, place and IP address.
Sometimes I think that the happiest moments of my life have already happened.
I am thankful for people who pay attention.
I haven't done a gratitude journal in a while and need to.
I am a paradox of ideas and thoughts, and I like that about myself even though you cannot sort me out and I'm a jigsaw puzzle that will never fit back together.
I secretly hope that one day I'll find that all the news is good.
As much as I love the Obamas and animals, I just never quite got interested in the dog story. Though I'd rather read about that, then other articles.
I haven't had insomnia for awhile, but the worry about happiest moments can sometimes cause it.
I still believe we will get through this.
* * *
To do list--
Written by Kelli Russell Agodon
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