Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Confession Tuesday

I'm teaching at the Whidbey island writers workshop this week and this is my room. Well, part of it. There is also a great bedroom. It's in this funky inn overlooking the water, it's fantastic and just my style.

I confess I lost $20 or more on the ferry coming here though.

I have a bad habit of shoving cash in my pockets, my too tight back pockets along with my phone, a pack of gum, you name it, I've probably shoved it in my back pocket. I think when I took out my phone, the cash came with it but I didn't realize it. I cannot tell you how it bums me out to lose $20 or $30.

I always thought I'd get to a point where I'd be okay with that, but my capricorness, frugal saver in my is truly bugged by such a little thing. I guess it just feels so wasteful and irresponsible to me.

It is definitely a place I am hard on myself about. It brings up all those little girl fears about not having enough and not being responsible with money.

I guess I should next confess that my dad was a businessman and a fiscal republican to help explain my $ weirdness.

We were so opposite and yet, even with his rah-rah Ronald Reagan, we were so similar when it came to $$.

I confess it has taken me 30 years to become someone who doesn't worry (as much) over $, but I realize when something minor like losing $20 comes up, it surprises me to feel the old anxieties again.

I confess I wasn't planning on making this about money.

However the one thing that gives me a smile in this whole loss of cash incident, is imagining the person who finds my wad of cash and how that will make their day.

That is a good feeling.

I know, I am so bizarre. Plus, I haven't had my coffee yet.

I confess Waking up on an island in a windstorm / rainstorm is a wonderful treebranch seabird symphony. Love it.
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