Getting the Facebook Monkey off my Back and the Underwear Off One's Head (Facebook Fridays check-in)

The First Week---

I wanted to check-in as this will be my first week of Facebook Fridays (meaning, I only check-in on Facebook on Fridays) to let you know how it was going.

I think the first couple days were the hardest (not in that I was missing Facebook, I really wasn't), but that I realized had that habit-button in my head--oh, some down time, dear fingers, please type in www.facebook...and see what comes up.  

This made me realize how many times that thought to check Facebook and to absent-mindly go there happened during my daily writing.  While I didn't give into the thought/temptation, I was made aware how many times I used Facebook during the day to burn-off some extra time.

And really, is it extra time?  No, there are no extra minutes on our life clock.  We each get X number of minutes, though we can't really calculate for X until we are R.I.P.

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One Change to Facebook Fridays--

I did realize I need to make one amendment to my Facebook Friday as I chose to make two visits to respond to messages (though I stayed off the homepage with status reports and everything else).

This was the the main thing I realized this week through Facebook is that some important requests and information DO come through Facebook.  It is a major way people contact me.

So my amendment to my Facebook Fridays is that--- I will go on Facebook if I need to respond to a personal message-- but I will only go to the message, respond, then immediately leave the Facebook vortex.

As I said, this happened to me twice this week.  (Once from a Canadian poet asking me to read in March, and once from my cousin Bobby, needing my travel plans for a visit to see him.)  Both needed to be responded to in a timely manner, so I did.

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So here are the things I've learned in my week without Facebook:

1. It's much easier than I thought.

2. Facebook can exist like a Fight Club motto:  

When you're not on Facebook, you don't what happens on Facebook.

3.  Facebook still has its usefulness and needs (i.e. personal messages, that may have some urgency to them that one week may be too long to wait in responding)

4.  I don't miss reading status updates.

5.  I don't miss writing status updates. (Though one day in the kitchen I did think in third person, "Kelli is wondering what projects everyone is working on..." )

6.  I can easily go more than a week without checking Facebook (with the exception of personal messages) and this may morph into Facebook Every-other-Friday (though definitely not as fun to say as Facebook Fridays).

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It's Not You, It's Me --

And a final note, to my FB friends who thought I was talking about them when I wrote what bothers me about Facebook, please know-- I wasn't.  I actually didn't have any particular person in mind, just a generalization about how FB can be used sometimes.

And in fact, I have only defriended two people who did this to me-- a long time ago a man who sent me SO many personal messages, virtual hugs, virtual chocolate, invitations to join his Mafia war, and special invites to his events in California you would have thought we were long time acquaintances and/or lovers, and that perhaps, I lived in California and actually knew who he was.

My second defriending was of a woman with a cheesy author photo who really didn't care about me or poetry, but in amassing huge amounts of "friends" to sell her services to.  These were the only two actual people who came to mind during that post.


I should have made this clear because I know sometimes reading someone's blog you are convinced they are talking about you, but honestly, dear reader, dear FB friend, my thoughts were not related from any current event, FB interaction, or wall post.  It was just my own baggage of a few years on FB.

So to the lovely people who wrote, (many interestingly enough whose names started with an S) as well as the other letters, who thought they just happened or kind of fit the description to my annoyance-- no worries, it wasn't you.

And isn't that always the way?

Usually if you're the person who thinks you're annoying, you're not.  It's the guy standing in the corner humming Shaun Cassidy songs and wearing underwear on his head, completely oblivious that his social skills might be out-of-whack.

P.S.  Because I am a poet, I find out-of-whack social skills quite endearing (minus the underwear on the head, that's a usual turn-off.)  And I did once write a fan letter to Shaun Cassidy, though I'll save that for another day...   Da-do-run-run.

Thanks for reading!



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