Confession Tuesday

Is it wrong my favorite time on this clock is "adult beverage" ??

Dear Reader,

Happy 2 days after Easter and eating as much chocolate as I like again.  We've also had ridiculously nice weather the past few days, which turns me into crazy-garden woman/sloth.

Let's just get to the details...  To the confessional--

I confess I waited 6 weeks to eat chocolate and when I took my first bite it wasn't as good as I remembered.

Isn't this always the case with most everything in life?  What I think will be satisfying rarely makes it to "okay."  I think it's about expectations.  Or maybe comfort--when I was eating a lot of chocolate I think I thought it was better than it was.

I'm not sure, but now that I can eat as much chocolate as I want, I'm not even craving it.  And my house is chocolate filled from Lindt to Godiva to Hershey's to Dove to Swiss.

It could also have to do with deprivation.  When we deprive ourselves of something, it tends to be what we want.  Thankfully, I'm not much into self-sacrifice except during Lent.  Though next year, I think I'm going to do something that helps others more.

~

I confess I do not know how people who live in warm climates get anything done, especially writing.

We had 3-4 beautiful days and I basically refused to go into the house.  I went from extreme to extreme-- from gardening like a madwoman and using my new favorite chainsaw to sitting on the deck for hours watching birds and the ferry come and go.  I'm was my own breed of animal, a worker-sloth.

I ended up googling "Key West" after a glass of wine completely convinced it's where I should be living.

I do understand why there are so many writers, artists, and musicians in the Northwest-- because we're stuck indoors.

If it were sunnier here, I don't think I'd have 2 books, a chapbook and an anthology.  I think my life would have a lot to do with sitting in the sun, reading, watching birds, and napping.  I would probably be happier, though with even less money.

I hadn't realized that I really could be a beach bum. I could fall into the parrothead lifestyle a little too easy.

~

However, because our weather is not always fantastic as it has been, I confess I did get some work on my third manuscript done earlier in the week when my family was away.

I printed it out, made edits and will work on revising it again on the writing residency I have planned.

It's not done as there are definitely more poems I need to write, but it's feeling closer.  Less like a bunch of poems and more like a shape of something bigger.  I can see it coming together and that excites me.

~

I confess poetry has been on my mind.  I just ordered this book (and I think it will arriving today):  Looking for the Gulf Motel by Richard Blanco (Pitt Poetry Series). He's a poet I love and I truly love the Pitt Poetry Series.

Then magically on my Paperback Swap Wish List, this book Erasable Walls by Lance Larsen came up.  So I am getting this as well!

And in my Poetry Month wildness, I may have ordered this: Jerry Williams' book Admission.  I write "may" because honestly, I don't remember or if I told myself I'd wait until I read Richard Blanco's book.

Sometimes I feel this almost desperate need to feed up on poetry and when I feel this way, I kind of lose my mind.

Amen.



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