Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Confession Tuesday

Another week, a blogoversary, and some soulcards and God Boxes in between, what could I possible have to confess?

Oh, there's always something, isn't there?

To the confessional--

I confess that people think I am better at balancing life/writing/family than I really am.

For a long time I've felt as if I'm not really doing anything well.

I think a lot of people feel that, life keeps us busy and jumping from boiling pot to boiling pot. Though sometimes I have all my pots on simmer, but I'm only cooking stone soup. Sometimes the pot marked "writing" is empty and the bottom of the pot is burned. Sometimes the pot marked "life" is filled with dirty laundry, shoes scattered across the living room floor, and lost keys. Did I say "sometimes," I meant "always."

Sometimes when I find myself feeling overwhelmed I lower my standards. William Stafford taught me this in reference to writing. It also works with life's details.

When someone comes into my house and it's not tidy, I steal from Roseanne Barr and say, "Sorry it's so messy, but we live here."

I do try to do my best and when I learn how to do better, I do.

I confess that when I find myself feeling overwhelmed, I try to feel thankful for what I have.

This morning when I asked my husband if he'd make a pot of coffee and my daughter asked him if he'd download an iTunes song for her, he said, "So many demands..." And I said, "And you have those demands to be thankful for because if you weren't hearing them it would mean we were dead. And you would miss us."

Sometimes I remind myself if things didn't feel chaotic/hectic/busy at times, it would mean that the people I love were missing.

I confess it's easy to forget what we have.

Last night at a Girl Scout's meeting, everyone had to state a goal they were working on. Some girls said, "To be a better friend." Some said, "To be more assertive." One parent said, "To have more fun." I said, "To be thankful each day for what I have and not take things/people for granted."

It's kind of an early New Year's resolution for me.

I confess I haven't written a gratitude journal in awhile so I think it's why I've been thinking about that.

I confess it's easier to see the mess in the living room than to be thankful for the people who made it. (I confess I can be a bit of a neat freak too.)

But I know, I can give thanks for the mess because of who it is attached to.

And I will. While all the pots boil over, I will give thanks for having pots and a stove to burn them on.



  1. The comment you made to your husband really resonated with me because after my dad passed away I had a day where I realized that his not yelling out my name at an inopportune time to make him a coffee made me painfully aware of the fact that he was gone. It used to irk me when he would do it and there is not a day that passes where i don't wish I would be interrupted to make him that coffee. Since then I try not to take anyone for granted. It's a good way to live as it leaves little room for regrets later.


  2. Thanks for this. It's nice to have validation from time to time.

  3. " confess that people think I am better at balancing life/writing/family than I really am."

    For a long time I've felt as if I'm not really doing anything well."

    Yep, that's me. All day, every day. *sigh* Hard to be grateful in a messy home and so many people needing you at once. But I am grateful, nonetheless.

    Thanks for your post.

  4. Oh my. oh my, oh my. Did I ever need to read this. Grateful. I need to be grateful. Thank you for reminding me! A friend who writes a blog on sprituality wrote recently about moving from despising the laundry to blessing each sock as she puts it away, and the little (or big) foot that wears it.

    Thank heaven for all my wise women friends!

  5. Thanks for this wonderful post. I have four children and our house is often messy and our lives chaotic. It is very easy for us all to take our loved ones and friends for granted.

    I have always said a messy home is a humble home.

    Thanks again!

  6. I always think of you as being able to balance it all. It looks so different than it feels. I can't even keep the kitchen counters clean this week let alone write a poem. And yet, life is full and Madeline DeFrees is still writing poems at ninety. May we keep trying to get it together for another 50/40 years!

  7. This made me really miss being involved with Girl Scouts :)

    I'm grateful for the rain for what it does for the planet and for how it makes me feel peaceful to see it out my office window.


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