Saturday, November 18, 2006

Work in Progress

The Trouble With Self-Doubt

On the ferry ride home today I read this in one of those higher spiritual mind, body, & soul free magazines--

"Self-doubt feeds on the mistrust of our vision, understanding and progress. When we disbelieve our knowing, we project doubt--unwilling to trust others. Then we start to doubt the Divine Plan, 'There's no such thing.' We discredit the Master, 'They're re're not really out there helping us...' The doubting grows like a cancer..."

The author continues, "Whenever I doubt myself, I'm sending a message to the Universe that my hopes and dreams won't be fulfilled. I can only imagine how many opportunities have been blocked by this attitude. Disfaith postpones happiness. The doubt that good things can really happen energizes that reality. Doubt says NO to greater possibilities. Why not just conclude with "I don't know" or "maybe" than "I doubt it."

Being someone who believes that our thoughts shape our reality, I realized that yes, it is easier (better) just to say "maybe" and not fall into Glum-speak "We're doomed, we'll never make it," (If you ever watched the cartoon Gulliver's Travels, you'll know what I'm talking about here.)

Even the graffiti I noticed today reflected this thought: "If you find yourself asking. 'Is this all there is?' Shouldn't you be asking yourself, 'Is this all I created?'" --such mindful graffiti artists in the Northwest.

We don't know the outcomes. And we don't know the outcome of whatever we try (well, unless we don't try it-- quote Wayne Gretsky "You miss 100% of the shots you never take"). So if we can't think yes, think maybe. Think "I don't know what the outcome will be" and move forward.

So often self-doubt wanders around the living room or sits on our desks suggesting the world is a scary place, so we better sit still and not try anything. We better not submit to that book contests or apply for a grant because we won't get it and rejections hurt. And we believe this stranger. We believe "no" before we believe "maybe."

I tend not to believe in a master plan, but more in the idea that there are no wrong choices. I believe more in the pen that says we are the reality we create and the plan is a work in progress, like we all are.

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