~ Book of Kells

Form Poem

2009-11-10T14:33:00.001-08:00

I'm working on creating my own form poem today... I'll let you know how it goes.

* * *

Poetry Break

2009-11-10T12:49:00.001-08:00

From "Like This" Pg. 136 from The Essential Rumi
translated by Coleman Barks --

When someone quotes the old poetic image
about clouds gradually uncovering the moon,
slowly loosen knot by knot the strings
of your robe.
Like this?

. . .

When someone asks what it means
to "die for love," point
here.

. . .

The soul sometimes leaves the body, then returns.
When someone doesn't' believe that,
walk back into my house.
Like this.

. . .

When someone asks what there is to do,
light the candle in his hand.
Like this.

Things That Make You Go Hmmm...

2009-11-10T11:56:00.001-08:00

This made me laugh today, in looking up the correct spelling of "wasabi" (I thought it was "wasabai") in my confession Tuesday post I came across this on Amazon.com on the Wasabi peas page--

Frequently Bought Together:

Customers buy this item (Wasabi peas) with The Little Rascals: The Complete Collection DVD ~ Little Rascals

* * *

Is that bizarre? "Oh, I think I'll buy some hot wasabi peas AND the complete collection of the Little Rascals to watch while I eat them?" Who thinks this way? I keep trying to figure out the connection.

Just thought I'd share this interesting part of my day.

Confession Tuesday

2009-11-10T11:35:00.001-08:00

Dear Reader, it's been a week of fevers and not sexy fevers, like I'm hot-blooded (check it and see), or fever in the morning, fever all through the night, when you kiss me fever, but my God another fever day, and I hope this isn't serious fever, and let's all take a nap and keep our immune systems up so we don't catch this fever.

But now, we're feverless and better.

So let's begin. To the confessional--

1) I realize this week how cranky/judgmental I've been lately about a few people who just rub me the wrong way. I know when I feel this way it's time to look inward to see what's up with that... (Or maybe they just are annoying...) ;-)

2) Someone told me today that when you eat sugar, you're basically knocking out your immune system for about 30 minutes. WHAT? Is this the worst news ever? I had no idea about this. And I *heart* candy/chocolate. So today I mixed organic cocoa bean powder with agave nectar and dunked a banana in it. Does this count as sugar? It tasted like chocolate dipped banana. It would be easier just to continue eating chocolate and pretend I don't know about this fact.

3) Today is a writing day so I'm in my writing clothes-- corduroys, thermal long-sleeve t-shirt, big sweater cardigan, warm socks, slip off shoes. I'll be off to the shed after I finish typing this.

4) I want to learn how to make those cool little necklace pendants people are making that have a cool image in them (like above). I want to make myself an Emily Dickinson one, though I think these pendants might be beyond my jewelry making skill.

5) Yesterday I went to a friend's house and made "soul cards." It's where you use images from magazines to make Tarot-like cards to ponder on. Kind of like mini vision boards. I'll do a separate post about this soon with photos and some synchronicity that happened as I was looking through my old "soul cards."

6) I think soulcards is kind of a cheesy name, but I really like making them.

7) Sometimes I get the urge to write really inappropriate things on my Facebook status.

I will share one here, but the way, it is a little TMI (Too Much Information), which is why I didn't post it so be warned. (Though it *is* confession Tuesday...)

Anyway, the other day I was at a doctor's appointment and was sitting there waiting for her and was so tempted to write on my FB status, "Kelli is in a paper gown waiting for her OB-GYN listening to 'I'm Every Woman' on the clinic's speaker system." (All true, btw.) It kind of cracked me up to hear that.

But I'm afraid a status like that could end me up on www.lamebook.com, which I think is a hilarious website (though if you're easily offended, you might not see the humor in all the posts.) Again, be warned. It may not be work-friendly if your boss checks those kind of things.

8) While writing these confessions, I ate too many wasabi peas.

9) I think that is the last of my confessions. I wrote more than I thought, I though I didn't have anything to confess, but my imperfections sparkled through. Yah imperfections!

Amen.

What I'm Reading... (Mini Reviews)

2009-11-09T22:03:00.000-08:00

I'm going to do some larger book reviews coming up in the next few weeks, but just wanted to let you know what I'm reading or have read lately--

Marrying George Clooney: Confessions from a Midlife Crisis
by Amy Ferris - I'm completely hooked on this book and am almost finished with it. The author is both honest and hilarious in her look at menopause and being in her 50's. Complete candor, she has no fear to say how she's feeling, what's annoying her, odd things her husband does, and just her thoughts on life in general.

She dropped the F-bomb throughout the book, so if you're a reader who dislikes that word you'll either get used to it by page 7 or be completely annoyed and put down the book (sort of like my mum did when I suggested she watch "Pulp Fiction" - dear God, what was I thinking with that recommendation?)

Anyway, fantastic book! I plan to devote a whole blog post to it because it has some things (such as font size, photos of cats, etc) that I haven't seen with memoirs that I want to discuss.

Final thoughts-- HIGHLY RECOMMEND (while women may like this more than men, I think men with a wife 45ish and up might appreciate having a look into what craziness happens -or may happen- during menopause)

_____________

In the world of poetry, I'm reading-

Sharp Stars (American Poets Continuum) by Sharon Bryan.

First a note of full disclosure- Sharon was my mentor at PLU for a year, but I have been a fan of her work for awhile now.

A remarkable collection of poetry full of well-crafted poems with humor, wordplay, and poignancy. Most collections have a couple "clunkers" in them, a poem that just doesn't feel as well-crafted or reworked, but all of Sharon's poems shine. You will not find extra words or anything in the poems that shouldn't be there.

Then, Something: Poems
by Patricia Fargnoli - Another collection of poetry that brings in nature and meditates on aging and life. I plan on doing a larger review on this book as it's one I've really loved reading this year.

Mister Skylight
by Ed Skoog- On the 12th, I'll have a full review of this book. I wasn't a reader of Ed's poetry, so his work and style is new to me. I have favored his shorter poems over the longer ones, so far, but I am not completely finished reading it, so full review to come soon.

* * *

These final three I'm reading are just my kind of books. They are all non-fiction, include some sort of studies in them, and discuss the human thought process or our human experience in them. I love the weird facts they each include and they are what a friend called "edu-tainment" - educational stuff shared in an entertaining way. These are the books where I always learn something and understand myself or the world better because of them.

These make great Christmas presents because 1) you look smart giving them 2) people feel smart receiving them 3) they are gender-neutral - both men and women love them (though if I think I had to choose what gender would prefer them, in general, I might lean towards men- though I've had a few women friends read them and enjoy them greatly)

ALL THREE OF THESE ARE HIGHLY RECOMMEND (so far...)--

Brain Rules: 12 Principles for Surviving and Thriving at Work, Home, and School by John Medina

Okay, I love this book. It has great information (including that the brain needs an afternoon nap- I knew this!) There are 12 principles on how the brain works and how we can improve our minds. While that sounds a little self-helpy (and maybe there is that), it's intriguing to learn these ideas on how our brain functions best.

Like the other 3 books, I'm in the early chapters, but really enjoying this. (Though for some reason, I spent the week referring to it as "Brainwise" and not BRAIN RULES - which tells you a lot about why I am reading this book...)

Predictably Irrational: The Hidden Forces That Shape Our Decisions
Dan Ariely - I'm in the early stages of this book, but already am fascinated about how companies and restaurant market us knowing how humans make choices. Even we might choose a mate in bar (clue: always go to a bar with someone who is just a little less attractive than you, if you want to be picked up!)

This is a quick summary of how the brain works and as I said, I'm still in the early chapters of this book, but already loving it.

SuperFreakonomics: Global Cooling, Patriotic Prostitutes, and Why Suicide Bombers Should Buy Life Insurance by Steven Levitt & Stephen Dubnar - This book is currently receiving pretty poor marks on Amazon, which makes sense to me as it's the follow-up book to the fabulous Freakonomics: A Rogue Economist Explores the Hidden Side of Everything (P.S.), a book I loved.

Had others not read Freakonomics first, I think they'd love or highly like this book, but because there is something to compare, it comes in second. I feel this would be a fair assessment so far (again, I'm still on the early chapters of this and I read one review that when the authors hit the chapters on global warming, the books goes off a cliff...), so I'll let you know.

So far though, I'm finding it quite interesting.

For Christmas gifts, start with Freakonomics and move to this for a follow-up birthday gift.

* * *

Check in... (Not poetry, just flu stuff)

2009-11-09T05:39:00.001-08:00

Sorry to have been away for so long, but it's been a week of healing as my daughter woke up with a fever on November 1st and basically spent the whole week getting better. We don't know if it was the H1N1 virus, but her fever stayed 4 full days.

Our doctor gave us some great advice that I will be repeating in my family as when my daughter gets sick my husband goes Tylenol crazy, but she said, "Treat the patient, not the fever."

This is interesting to me because when my daughter first woke up with a fever of 101.7 my husband bought Tylenol and her fever went down. The next day it was 102.5 and we gave her Tylenol and her fever went down. Our doc told us to only give her Tylenol if she wasn't feeling good (headache, body aches, etc.) and not to freak out if the fever went up to 102 or 103.

Anyway, our daughter felt fine (actually, felt pretty good which was a little odd to have this sweet girl with a high fever) and so when her fever hit 103ish, I didn't give her Tylenol and it went down on its own and the next morning she woke up and it was gone.

Of course, she still has a little bit of an awful cough, but no temp and her energy is back. Anyway, there's a part of me that wonders if her fever/sickness would have gone earlier if we hadn't treated it with Tylenol so early and let the fever do its job? Either way, she is better and that makes me happy.

Oh, there are two bonuses when your child is sick and you are stuck home with her, indoors for a week- 1) You save a lot of money on food & shopping. 2) Daily naps.

After a week of taking a 2 hour nap with her in the afternoon, I'd really like to bring into consideration the daily siesta from 2-4 pm or 3-5 pm (your choice). I swear, I think it was these naps that helped me stay healthy and not get her virus. And gawd, they felt good.

* * *

Confession Tuesday

2009-11-03T13:31:00.000-08:00

It feels as if it's been a week plus forever since I've confessed. I have a sick daughter, so a quick confession and back to snuggling with her so she can get better...

To the confessional!

I confess I am thankful to the poets and people who read my blog. Last week I felt a little vulnerable sharing how my book became published and the details, but the response was so warm, I really appreciate it. Thank you for the comments, the personal emails and the FB messages.

What it tells me is that people (like in life) might not share the full info on publishing. I think it can be hard to share our rejections or our hard journeys sometimes.

It kind of reminds me of the moms who pretend their marriage is perfect, their kids don't eat junk food or watch TV, and all is always well. I'm always interested when I meet someone who seems perfect and tells me she's perfect only to get a glimpse into her real life (which is never perfect) and sometimes completely different than the facade she has created.

I don't blame her or the writers who don't want to tell the whole truth because it's a protection mechanism. We don't want to be hurt or we don't want to be vulnerable.

But I think honesty is important.

Last year during a creativity class I had to write a life motto. Mine was really long at first, it included supporting my family, friends and myself with their passions, yadda yadda yadda. It was so long, I could never remember it and that was part of the assignment, to write a motto (or life mission) and remember it! In the end mine was this, "To live authentically with faith." Really, that's what it comes down to.

Also, the older I get the more I realize it's not my business what other people think of me.

* * *

I confess I didn't mean for that confession to be so long. I just wanted to say thank you for your kind words, support, and responses to my blog posts last week. Thank you.

* * *

I confess having a sick child puts the entire world into perspective. It makes you remember what's important.

It makes me remember the words from Fight Club...

"You're not your job. You're not how much money you have in the bank. You're not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You're not your f'ng khakis." (Though he doesn't say "effing" in the book, that wouldn't make sense.)

*

I confess I love the book Fight Club as well as the movie.

I also confess I went to one of the very first readings with the author Chuck Palahniuk in Seattle and only 5 people showed up to the University Village Barnes & Noble to hear him read. My husband and I were 2 of them and 3 others were his friends.

At the time he said, "And I hear it *may* get made into a movie with Brad Pitt."

* * *

I confess I just bought Sharon Bryan's new book of poems, SHARP STARS but haven't read it yet. It's gorgeous though. More on that soon.

* * *

I confess I spent the last 3 days mostly in PJs and it's felt really good.

* * *

The Raven by Edgar Allen Poe on The Simpsons

2009-10-31T10:05:00.000-07:00

"The Raven" on The Simpsons - Watch more Videos at Vodpod.

My family watches this video every Halloween! (And I post it on my blog every year!) Love it. A great way to introduce Edgar Allen Poe to the kids!

Happy Halloween!

Halloween Verse Daily Style!

2009-10-31T09:15:00.001-07:00

The wonderful people at Verse Daily have a second poem up from our new issue of Crab Creek Review!

Read:
The Tortoise Survives the Fire by Lisa Allen Ortiz

on Verse Daily today!

Happy Halloween!

Question: Once you were a finalist, did you stop revising?

2009-10-29T14:38:00.000-07:00

Here's another question I was asked, it's quite intriguing and at the heart of it, it's asking, how do we know when to stop revising? Ah, the $100,000 question!

Question:

You said that you knew once you started to be a finalist in some contests that it was just a matter of luck/time from there. Once those finalist nods started coming in, did you stop revising? Do you think it's a bad idea to alter a "finalist manuscript"--or is there specific advice you would give about when/how to continue revisions, and still hold out hope for something that's getting that "bridesmaid" attention?

******** I think I'll break this question down into a few parts.

Part I: Once those finalist nods started coming in, did you stop revising?

Answer: Kind of, but not really. I am someone who loves to revise, revise my poems, revise my manuscript, revise my life. It can be a disease, whittling away on a piece of wood past the point where it's a flute to where it becomes a toothpick.

But, when I did start getting those finalist nods, I did feel less like the manuscript was "broken" and something I needed to fix and more with the belief that I was close and there was just a few things keeping me from being chosen.

These "few things" can drive a poet crazy though. It can make you feel like you just need the Secret Poetry Contest Decoder Ring and all will be fine.

But mostly, I stopped some. I stopped making swooping changes like with title. Mostly, if I go back to my mss from January of 2008, it's pretty much the same mss now just with a little different order and a few different poems.

But as artists, writers, poets, it's hard to stop messing with our work. Especially me, I love to mess with things.

*

Part II: Do you think it's a bad idea to alter a "finalist manuscript"--or is there specific advice you would give about when/how to continue revisions, and still hold out hope for something that's getting that "bridesmaid" attention?

I think if you're manuscript is getting chosen as a finalist, I think you're close and it is just a matter of the right reader (also luck and timing).

What I did when it got close was talk to two of my good poet friends who know my work very well and ask them, "What is this manuscript missing?" "Is there any poems that feel out of place or aren't as strong?"

They didn't have any major changes, but found a copy typos (ugh!) and offered some advice on order and what they thought were my strongest poems.

I would never just talk to one person or trust one person, but ask a couple or a few. It will remind you that poetry is subjective and people rarely agree, so it's up to the poet to follow his/her own vision for the book.

For me, I asked myself questions, "Why do I have this poem first? Why do I have this order? Why do I have these sections?" Etc. I needed to have an answer for everything, when I said, "I don't know," I knew there might be a problem. I think the poet should have an answer for every question, from "Why are you using this quote?" to "Why is the poem about the bird next to the poem about the miscarriage?"

Even if the reader doesn't see the whole vision, it's good for you to know why you did the things you did. For example, one of my poems end "Your psychic number is eight. Your psychic insect is the mirror beetle." While it's not important for you to know my favorite/lucky number is 8 or that the mirror beetle is this magical piece of artwork I purchased from a Seattle artist and an image that will reappear later in the book, it's important for me to know why I chose those images instead of say a dragonfly and the number 2.

Also, and this might sound bizarre, but I went through with each poem and asked each poem if it belonged in my book. Basically, this is me asking myself, "Does this poem belong in this manuscript? Should this poem be in here?"

And in the end I took the Johnny Cochran approach, "When in doubt, take it out."

Of course, we're poets, so we can always doubt our work, but I'm looking for that gut feeling that says, "This poem is not strong enough" or "This poem isn't finished" or "This poem doesn't fit in this manuscript." And I was tough on my poems, if I didn't think they were strong enough, they went back to the gym.

Other things you may want to consider--

Is the title working with the collection as a whole?

What is your first poem doing for the collection?

What is the last poem leaving your reader with?

Is there anything in here that shouldn't be?

Is there anything that is missing from the collection? (Or are their unwritten poems I need to write?)

If your manuscript is at the finalist level, these answers should be answered pretty easy and not require a lot of revision.

_____

So yes, if you're being named a finalist, I do think it's a matter of time, so I wouldn't change too much.

If you're finding yourself the bridesmaid, I tend to think there's a wedding for you down the road. It's happened to all my poet friends, finalist, finalist, finalist, finalist, winner... (though sometimes there's many more finalist spots first). I can't think of anyone who is submitting after X number of years and still getting finalist status, at some point, you win.

* * *

Also, remember, I'm just one poet out of many, I think this is good advice, but maybe it's not, so in the end you need to trust yourself, your own voice, your own vision, and your own gut instinct.

This is what worked for me and how my story played out, yours could be a little different.

So M in St. Louis, I hope this helped. Thanks for your note.

* * *

Question: Did early submission of your mss help shape your mss? Or did you mostly revise from readers?

2009-10-29T07:31:00.001-07:00

I wanted to respond to a question Jennifer asked:

You wrote: "Also, I think waiting until you have a good strong mss is important, not submitting too early, before your mss is done. I could have saved a lot of time and money had I not submitted in 2005, 2006, and even most of 2007. My manuscript really didn't take it's strongest form until after August of 2007." But do you think the process of submitting helped the manuscript evolve, or do you think it was primarily your revisions based on feedback from your trusted readers?

****This is a great question!

I think what's interesting here is that if you work on a manuscript for a period of time, things change. Sometimes it's the order. Other times, new poems are written and older poems are replaced, or vice versa.

I think for me, my manuscript would have come to the place it is now even if I hadn't submitted it in 2005 & 2006 because for me, the key element I feel made this manuscript work was that I was leaving out my emotionally dark or charged poems.

It took another student (not even a person I'm crazy about, to be honest) to tell me what was missing. I think we were all very good at praising each other for what we were doing well, but this one person who always kind of annoyed me in general, made the comment that stung--she was the one who said how my manuscript needed more emotionally vulnerable poems and less wit. When she said because, because my reaction was so strong to her, I knew she was right.

I always resisted what they say to do in poetry contests, which is put your strongest poems up front and at the end and fill the middle with your pretty good poems.

I have been told by many that many of my strongest poems are in the middle. Jeannine was the one who noticed that I tend to put up walls around my work-- the lighter, less deep poems in the beginning, the poems with more emotionally pull hidden in the middle (kind of like the skin and bones protecting the heart). And because my manuscript is entirely alphabetical (there's a little fact about this manuscript that I don't think I've mentioned yet). If I wanted to change order, I had to retitle the poem.

C.Dale Young made a very interesting comment to me on my post about how many poems where published when I first began sending out poems. He wrote: 60% were published when I first started sending it out. It took me 5 years. I changed practically nothing but the order of the poems.

I thought this was such a smart comment because many times we have the poems we need, we just need to figure out how they converse with each other in the best order.

But back to Jennifer's original question. I think for me, my manuscript would have evolved over those two years regardless of whether I sent it to any contests. (I am a crazy-reviser with manuscripts and with poems.) So I do think I could have save some money. What I would do differently would be just send to a few favorite key contests to see what kind of response I was getting "semi-finalist, finalist, etc." To me, that is what really lets you know that your manuscript is ready or close or just needs a little time.

Once I started being named a finalist (1 of 30, 1 of 25) and my manuscript was being given to the final judge, then I knew it was just a matter of time (and a little luck) for my manuscript to be put in the hands of someone who *got* what I was doing and saw/understood the vision I had for my book.

So my final thoughts would be--

Give yourself some time with your manuscript before you submit it, submit when it's ready, not when you're ready.

Ask a trusted reader, what's missing, then write or find those poems to include.

Order matters.

Listen to your gut (always most important).

LA Review

2009-10-28T14:09:00.000-07:00

Just a note that my poem, "Discovering the Tasmanian Devil is My Life Coach" is in this new issue (Issue 6) of the LA Review

Here's the poem--

He wants me to speak without language.
What can you say in a facial expression?
Can you find contentment in chaos? Disruption?

All my life I’ve been told
to speak slowly, use manners.
He’d like me to slurp a hunk of meat

from my dinner plate, break the wine glass
and guzzle the bottle. He says I’m improving
on my spontaneity, but there’s room

to rip apart the wildflowers without feeling
guilty for what was. He says remember the time
your mother said, Young ladies don’t dress that way.

He tells me to spin naked through a continent
being only distracted with rabbits disguised
as the opposite sex. Try dressing as a tornado,

find passion in every twirl.
He tells me he knows it’s silly
to suggest I sleep on a full stomach

and destroy whatever gets in my path,
but he’s asked me to be an innocent savage,
be the person the room stops for.

- Kelli Russell Agodon
from the LA Review, Issue 6

It will also be Letters from the Emily Dickinson Room...

The guidelines to submit to issue 7 are here.

$$ Poet = Poor it? Question: How did I afford the contest fees to submit?

2009-10-28T13:45:00.001-07:00

Ann, my very good friend just reminded me of something in regards to manuscript submissions that I should share... much of the reason I was able to submit to these contests was that I received two grants from Artist Trust to help with submission costs such as contest fees and postage.

I received an Artist Trust GAP grant this year for $1500. Here's my listing for this year:

Kelli Russell Agodon, Kingston, Kitsap County, ($1500) to assist in finding a publisher. Kelli is currently completing her second poetry manuscript titled “Letters from the Emily Dickenson Room.” In these poems she tries to explore how and if people can find calmness in a chaotic world. Many of the poems were created during her visit to the Sylvia Beach Hotel where she stayed during a writing retreat.

Artist Trust is the most wonderful organization created to help Washington State Artists (writers, dancers, visual artists, photographers, etc.) It's a remarkable organization and I owe them a ton of thanks for helping me have the resources to find a publisher.

If you're in Washington State, you should definitely sign up for a membership to them and apply for their grants.

If you're not in Washington State, then find out what organizations support your local artists.

I think this is another piece of the puzzle that also needs to be mentioned. Had I not had this grant and an earlier grant, I probably wouldn't have been able to submit to so many places. Also, knowing that other artists found my work valuable and validated it by supporting me, made it easier to submit when the rejections rolled in.

*

P.S. If I couldn't have afforded the contest fees, I would have dropped cable TV. Priorities!

*

Question: How Many of Your Poems Were Published in your MSS When You Began Submitting it?

2009-10-28T12:19:00.001-07:00

I was asked how many poems were previously published in my manuscript when I began submitting it.

Because I switched computers in 2007, I'm not sure how many of my poems were published in the first version I submitted in 2005 (I'm guessing it was about 15-20), I'll try to see if I can find that info. I think there may be a copy on our old laptop.

However, in 2007, 37 of the poems out of 42 poems had been accepted in various journals.

In the manuscript, Letters from the Emily Dickinson Room, that was recently accepted, there are 44 poems, of those 44 poems, 32 have been previously published in literary journals.

_______________

Reading this, it might not make sense because you'd think I'd have more poems published in journals now than in an earlier version.

I think the biggest difference is while the earlier version had a lot of previously published poems, I decided that even though they were published, they weren't necessarily my strongest poems, so I made the choice to take some of them out of my manuscript and include poems that I felt were stronger, but hadn't been published yet.

I think when I first began putting this manuscript, I was listening more to what others thought-- which poems they thought were stronger. Oh, if an editor published this, it must be good, when really there were other poems I liked better. Or they were good poems, but didn't necessarily belong in this manuscript.

I think the key to putting a manuscript is listening to your inner voice that knows what you like, what you think is good, and trying to quiet the voices of ego and others who may see other things for your collection.

* * *

Happy happy, joy joy

2009-10-28T08:54:00.001-07:00

In case you were worried about me after yesterday's confession... I'm fine.

I think in going over the numbers it was a little emotional because I kind of forgot how much work went into this manuscript and how long ago I began it.

But it didn't bring me to tears, so that's a good thing and I don't regret how I came to this place. (Though, I've never been big on regret, so this isn't surprising to me.)

I guess seeing the journey written out felt a little tiring, but also, important. Important to know and maybe appreciate a little.

But I know a lot of you were concerned how I was/am feeling. No worries, I may have had my drama queen crown on yesterday, but I've taken it off today.

I think there was a part of me that was surprised to see how many times and how many versions I'd submitted!

I remember the first time a very favorite poet of mine told me it took him 122 times to have his first book published. I remember thinking, "If I can get my book published under 122 submissions, I'm doing well!"

I think another thing to consider is that is seems many times the second book is harder than the first. My first book was picked up
quite quickly, too quickly, I think.

One positive with the longer route to publication is I like having 5 years between books.

Anyway, thank you all for notes, good wishes, and good thoughts. It was interesting for me to see the details and share them with you. And I love the notes that appreciated my "tenacity," I'm currently referring to myself as Tenacious K.

So two new favorite adjectives people have used to describe me lately- tenacious & quirky. I'll take it!

Signed,
the quirky Tenacious K

~

Confession Tuesday

2009-10-27T06:25:00.000-07:00

My Red Shoes, 2009

Dear Reader, it's been one day since I've last confessed. Yes, after yesterday's post, I'm not sure if I have anything more.

But I'll try, it's Tuesday, Confession Tuesday, so let's go

to the confessional--

I confess that yesterday's post was rather hard to write. And when I say rather I mean really.

It was very humbling to go back over the years to see where this manuscript came from and mistakes I made along the way.

It was very hard to say I was a loser 76 times and to admit how much money went into this.

In certain ways, I feel like trying to get my book published is my ego on overload (Everyone, you must read my work! I is sooooooooooo important!) and seeing how much effort I put into my work over the years tells me I must be persistent or an big arse (or maybe a little of both).

I was emotionally drained after my post as I both wanted to know how long it took and how many places I submitted to...and I didn't.

If I try to look at it positively, I would say that I saw all the scraps of fabric in many ways before I made the dress. And even though I may have sewed on a few extra pockets, in the end, the dress was complete.

If I look at it negatively, I would say make sure you have the outfit before you purchase 76 pairs of shoes to go with it first.

Of course, in the end, one of those pairs of shoes fit. But I could have probably purchased less shoes if I hadn't been so excited about the dance.

And well, we're not talking shoes or dancing here, but it seems easier to talk about that way. And I wanted you to know the whole story because sometimes I think things seem easier when you look at someone's life.

But all of it, life, poetry, it's not easy. It's a lot of work.

And when people tell you how they submitted to only 1 contest or press and were accepted, don't think they wrote the manuscript overnight and believe it was easy for them-- just realize, they were smart enough to have finished the dress before they began looking for the shoes. And when I say shoes, I mean publisher.

And if it were easy, then it wouldn't be worth it.

Amen.

The History of a Manuscript

2009-10-26T15:16:00.001-07:00

So I've been meaning to share how many times I sent in my manuscript before it was rejected, but haven't been able to find my journals with the notes in it. Or maybe I don't really want to know...but I think it's important to share this information as I know many poets believe if their mss isn't taken after X number of times it isn't good enough.

So let's go back to Poetry Contest Past and see where I've sent my mss (and what it was previously titled) and what happened, why it wasn't accepted, where it was close, and and and...

The first time I submitted this manuscript was November 5, 2004. It was titled An Alphabet Between Us and I submitted it to the Tupelo Dorset Prize.

What I can you is that it was a completely different manuscript and definitely not as strong as what was chosen five years later. However it must have been okay because I do see I had a couple "semi-finalist" marks in my notebook for some other contests.

In 2005, I submitted my mss to 12 different presses.

In 2006, I submitted my mss to 9 different presses.

In 2007, I submitted my to 16 different presses.

Also, I must have been getting bored of the title as I submitted it under the title Grey Alphabet. It was a finalist in one or two contests. At the end of 2007, I could see the manuscript was getting better responses.

At this point (fall 2007), it's getting closer to the book it is now.

But it was something in my MFA program that someone said that really helped me improve my work. Someone made the comment to me that they liked the poems that felt more "vulnerable" and not just my wordplay poems. It was kind of a tough thing for me to hear as a poet and writer, sometimes I put up walls around my work. If you read this manuscript, you will find that some of the more emotionally vulnerable poems are in the middle sections which has a lot of "letter poems." But it was a good comment for me to hear as I taken out the gravitas of the manuscript and replaced them with wit and brains (if that makes sense).

The manuscript I had been submitting was a pretty good manuscript, but it was missing what it has now, vulnerability, tension, evolution. The manuscript was filled with good poems and many of the poems in this manuscript are still in there, but the manuscript never evolved for the reader. I was keeping back some of the poems that made me as a poet feel vulnerable or I was concerned what someone might think.

Note: this is not a good thing to do. Do not be afraid of what the reader will think of you.

In 2008, with a newly revised manuscript (including the poems that were difficult for me to write and include), I submitted to 27 presses.

The title changed a lot this year, which made the manuscript change as well. I realized that in the year before there were two books very similar to my Grey Alphabet name, there was Dark Alphabet and Ghost Alphabet, so I figured we didn't need another alphabet title so I dropped Grey Alphabet and An Alphabet Between Us, and went to Sympathetic Magic, then finally onto Letters from the Emily Dickinson Room after spending a few days with friends on a writing retreat at the Sylvia Beach Hotel, where I stayed and wrote in the Emily Dickinson Room.

If you're keeping track that makes 64 presses (contests and open submissions) I submitted to.

But there's one more year, 2009. I submitted to 12 presses before it was accepted...however, I had just started submitting it to all the fall contests (9) and had to withdraw it from those. Yikes on that. I also submitted in 2009 in a version called Hourglass Letters & Letters from the Emily Dickinson Room.

It was a finalist (1 of 40) out of 1400 mss in the National Poetry Series. This was a first for me in this contests and a good sign I was close to being chosen. From that, I kept becoming a "finalist," this is very much the "always a bridesmaid never a bride" syndrome, or so it felt at times, but I always tried to believe my turn would be soon.

So in total, 76 presses had the opportunity to consider it over 5 years (plus 9 that ALMOST got to consider it...) Don't do the math on how much it cost me in postage, paper, and contest fees (I'm estimating about $30 a shot) or you'll end up with about $400 a year on submissions (I'd guess about $2000 total). This makes me a little ill as that's a lot of money. Thankfully, it was over 5 years, so my family still ate well and was fully clothed while I tried my best to be published.

At this point, some might say, why not just self-publish since you're going to spend that kind of money anyway. I guess one reason is, had I self-published back in 2005, I'm afraid I may not have had a very good book. I was excited about my work and started submitting too early. If I published myself now, while I would have a good book, I'd have a huge learning curve and time suck for putting the book together, getting an ISBN number, designing it, etc.

I have said this before, you need to find the best way for you. I think with poetry books, self-publishing is a very very good option if you want to go that route. I had a goal of a traditional publisher, one that had a print run and a good distributor, that was how I found White Pine Press. I loved the quality of their books and their reputation. This was how I chose the presses I was going to submit to.

I think you need to know what you want and what would make you happy.

Also, I think waiting until you have a good strong mss is important, not submitting too early, before your mss is done. I could have saved a lot of time and money had I not submitted in 2005, 2006, and even most of 2007. My manuscript really didn't take it's strongest form until after August of 2007.

But I'm human and was ready for my second book, even if my second book wasn't ready.

I hope these numbers don't depress you, but instead remind you that it is competitive, but not impossible.

And it's not a lottery (I can't stand it when people say that) as a lottery is built completely on luck and while I admit, being chosen does require luck and timing, it's not all of it. Some skill, craft, music, etc. is involved. It's not all luck though. It's not a lottery-- it's challenging, but it's not about randomly selecting 6 numbers, it's about doing and submitting your best work.

So there you go, some more details on how I got to this place and how long and how many people said no or almost or no no no. It was kind of tough for me to look at this information just because it's somewhat painful and quite expensive and 5 years is a long time or maybe it's not.

As you can see, I received a lot of no responses, but I just needed one yes, one person to get what I was doing. And one did. Thankfully!

Hope this helps you as you submit to know you're not alone.

If you have any specific questions on the publication process or submitting, let me know as I'm happy to share the details. I kind of feel I'm standing here in my bare bones anyway, so feel free to ask away if there is something I forgot to cover...

Some Thoughts About Submitting a Book Manuscript

2009-10-21T12:25:00.000-07:00

I'm out in my writing shed so I don't have the numbers to how many times my poetry manuscript was rejected, but will get you that info. We were way into double-digits, but I'm interested in going back to see the first time I submitted it. More on that later, but for now, I thought I'd offer some suggestions about publishing a book.

While I'm definitely not the "all-knowing" poet because I had a manuscript chosen in a contest (I do believe a lot of winning is luck & timing), I wanted to offer some thoughts and questions to think about while submitting your work to save you time, money, and hopefully, your sanity. I think they are things I wished someone had mentioned to me before I started submitting--

1) Is your manuscript done? This could have saved me a lot of time and money as I realize I was submitting my manuscript before it was complete? Why? Because the manuscript was ready for publication, but I was.

It's something to think about-- is your manuscript really ready for publication or are you? If your mss isn't ready, ask yourself what you need to do to get it ready (i.e. put it in a better order, write more poems, find a title?) Have a little conversation with your manuscript and see what it needs (more on this later).

2) Submit only to presses you want to be published in. Okay, this sounds obvious, but I'm amazed at hearing how people aren't happy because they were chosen by X contest. I say, "X contest didn't just choose you, you sent them your work." "I know," they said, "but that was because I didn't think I
would win." Huh?

I think the thing here is, sometimes we lower our standards too much. We so want to be published it becomes-- you or someone like you. Then it's -- you or someone who might know you. Then it's-- you or really anyone, anyone, I'm feeling desperate here...and lonely.

Try to imagine being chosen by the press you send to, are you happy or disappointed that you weren't chosen by Press Z and now wondering if you should say yes.
- Do you like they way their books look?
- Are you proud of them out in the world?
- Do you like other poets this press has published?
- Would you be happy to tell someone this press published you?

If getting published by a certain press isn't going to make turn cartwheels, but make you feel like your settling, maybe it isn't the best press to submit to.

This is a very long way of saying what I said to begin with-- Submit only to presses you want to publish your book.

3) How do you feel about contests? There are a lot of poets who despise contests, I'm someone who doesn't for a lot of reasons. Here are some reasons I like poetry contests--

a) I think they are fun and I think winning something is fun and fun to tell people. Maybe this is my 7 year old girl-self, but it was really fantastic to win a book prize. Maybe this is the girl in me who never got the trophy (except from my good friend, Nancy as a birthday gift. It reads: Poetic Champion of the World (that always makes me smile).

b) These contests keep the press afloat! As much as some despise them, they are helping our independent presses stay alive! It's as if 300-900 people made $20 to $25 donations to the poetry presses of America. If that's how presses find the best way to get their money because people aren't buying books or making donations on their own, then so be it. It's not their job to help us out, it's their job to stay alive in a world of big publishers.

c) I like getting the winning book and (this might sound odd), but it feels more real or validating to me to have someone choose my book then for me to publish it on my own. I know that last one has to do with my insecurities, but I just thought I'd throw that out there because I bet may be a few of you who feel that way too.

4) Before you submit to a publisher, have someone else proof it for you and find the typos. There will be some, trust me on this!

5) Make sure to also send it to presses that don't run contests as they are cheaper and/or free. Pitt, Sarabande, Boa, are a few I immediately thought of that will take manuscripts submissions in certain months. Some require you to have already published a first book, some don't. But they are great presses and I would have been doing cartwheels to be chosen by any of these!

6) Ask yourself, "Are there any poems I need to write for this manuscript to be complete?" This is similar to #1 but a little different. I think many times we start with X number of poems then try to order them or pull out the weakest ones, but I think it's always a good idea to ask yourself what is missing?When I first showed my manuscript to peers in my MFA program, they felt it was missing emotion. It was so witty or smart and full of word play, which they liked, but overall it felt shallow. That was in 2006-2007 and I spent the next year rewriting it and adding poems that gave it more an emotional depth.

7) Know what would make you happy and follow that. Do you want to win a book prize or do you want to have a book to sell at readings? Do you want to be published by a prestigious press or do you want to published by a local press that isn't as well known? Do you just want to get your poems into the hands of readers or do you have a specific goal?

Some poets are just as happy by self-publishing their own book (they have full control, it's less money, etc) while others want to go with a press already in business, (it feels more prestigious or "real" to them, they don't have to do all the graphic work of creating a book, all the details like getting it on Amazon & the ISBN # are covered). Either way is a good way, you just have to know you.

I knew myself enough to know I wanted to go with a press already in business and I wanted my manuscript chosen by someone.

And if you go way back to my Artist Way Action Plan of May 2008 (the last one I did) it says this: Goal: Publish an Award-Winning Second Book of Poems.

I guess my final thoughts are know yourself and what you want and what would make you both happiest and the most satisfied. And find the best path for you. It's kind of both the best and worst parts of being a poet-- there's no one way. I think it's more of a good thing because there are so many roads to take to achieve whatever your goal is.

Anyway, just some thoughts to consider. Not the truth, not the facts, just maybe something to think about as you submit.

Oh and trust luck and timing, it's part of it in much of life's stories...

*

Disney Rejection Letter for Women Animators, 1938

2009-10-21T08:58:00.001-07:00

I'll be blogging about rejection later today.

I found this and thought it was intriguing (and a little annoying about the Disney company, but not surprising). Those dwarfs would be nowhere without Snow White (and I mean that both literally and metaphorically).

More soon

Halloween - Writer Style!

2009-10-21T07:31:00.000-07:00

So, I have this other favorite blog I visit called Poetic Home. (Aimee, you would probably love this blog!)

The blogger at Poetic Home reminds me a lot of myself in her style and what she likes, except she is visually creative and crafty and way more stylish than I am, but I'm happy being the wannabe looking through her window pointing to what I like.

If you've been reading this blog for awhile, you know I love vintage typewriters and three of them, my favorite being my old 1937 Corona. When I saw this post, I thought, "I can do this!" (Will I do this?-- that's another story), but for me, this kind of stuff is just eye candy for the soul as it connects three of my favorite things--writing, autumn, and Halloween.

BTW, the pages are strung up with fishing wire if you were curious.

Anyway, I just wanted to share this as it makes me happy. Talk about a ghostwriter!

Confession Tuesday

2009-10-20T13:09:00.001-07:00

Holy emotional rollercoaster, Batman, what a week, I'm head over heels and now it's Tuesday and time to confess!

Let's just begin! To the confessional--

I confess, I cannot keep my headshots up for much longer, so if you haven't seen them look quickly because I must delete them. They kind of freak me out and not in that good way, but in an oh-I-am-so-tired-of-looking-at-myself way. And what-a-goofball-I-am way.

Thank you all for your comments on them. It's very hard looking at your own photo and trying to make a choice about which would be best, so I really appreciate your thoughts.

* * *

I confess I am a little frazzled this morning because I had to talk to my cellphone service (Can You Hear Me Now?) people and while the customer service people are wonderful, my cellphone company seems to want to make me lose my mind. Long story short, it was cheaper for me to cancel my contract and move to another cellphone company & get an even better phone (that has an lowercase i in the title) with better rates and features than to buy a new phone from them. I am still amazed by this.

* * *

I confess I still have the basket of laundry in my bedroom unfolded from a wash I did over 4 weeks ago and am basically just pulling from it like it is a giant plastic clothes holding bin. I just push past my husband's gym clothes until I find a cute t-shirt.

I also confess I make laundry into a much bigger deal than it should be.

Confession Outing (a new segment where I confess about what someone else did!)-- I once worked with this guy in college at Eddie Bauer and when his clothes were dirty he would just throw them away and buy more with his store discount. This is such 20-something guy with no other responsibilities behavior. I remember at the time thinking that wasn't such a bad idea.

And speaking of Eddie Bauer, when I worked there I was always amused with how they would never call a shirt blue, green, red, etc, it always had to be some fancy color like seafoam or plum or mocha, but never *really* told you what color shirt you were buying.

My favorite though was when they called a green shirt "Spearmint" in their catalog, but then sent them to the store covered in label stickers with the word "spearmint" shortened to "sperm" (um, really, no one caught this?). Gee, how appealing to the customers to purchase a "sperm-colored" shirt. (To quote an SNL skit, "Who was the ad genius who came up with that one?")

* * *

I confess I'm amused how I started confessing about laundry then ended up telling you about my college job and the "sperm shirt."

I confess, I'm also really nervous what kind of google hits I'm going to get for typing that! (That may have to be deleted at a later time...)

* * *

I confess I'm still ridiculously excited about White Pine Press and I confess it still doesn't feel real. But I am now finally sleeping again.

Thank you!

2009-10-18T23:28:00.001-07:00

Just a quick thank you for your support as I catch up to my regular life already in progress.

Thank you!

Sorry For Any Delay

2009-10-18T23:07:00.001-07:00

166 email messages.
behind on thank yous.
Behind on blog comment.

Am catching up, will be back with you shortly!

Tasks, Rain, and Photographs

2009-10-17T07:24:00.001-07:00

This morning my friend is coming over to take some headshots of me for White Pine Press. This probably won't be for the author photo (unless one turns out really well), but to send to Poets & Writers for their announcement section. It's currently pouring down rain outside so expect an umbrella to appear in one or two of those photos.

I had wanted the photos to be taken in my writing shed since that is pretty much my own Emily Dickinson room. I'm interested to see how with the weather and lighting, these will turn out. Please wish me a good hair day.

* * *

The other two things I'm working on is my bio (okay, technically I'm not "working" on it as I have a bio, many bios, I just need to send it to White Pine) and sending a copy of my final manuscript. If you know me, you know I have perfectionist tendencies, so having to send a final manuscript knots up my stomach a bit.

I am currently reading each poem aloud and asking the poem if it really belongs (deserves) to be in this manuscript. A few poems are holding their tongues. Silly poems.

* * *

In an upcoming post, I am going to give you the details in how long it took me to get to this place of publishing my manuscript, not to depress you as I didn't pull a Louise Gluck and write these poems over a ten week period and then publish them to go on to win the Pulitzer (a la Wild Iris), but just to detail that many times what seems to have been "an overnight success," has a back history.

I submitted this mss very early on when it wasn't ready (but I was ready!) These last couple years, it has felt complete to me and finished. I'm not sure I could say that when I began.

* * *

Once I get all my details out to White Pine Press, I'll go into the details of how long it took, how many contests or submissions, etc. if you're interested in hearing that. I don't want to freak anyone out, but I also don't want you to be discouraged if you send out your manuscript to three places and it's rejected, to think that's an accurate reflection on your work.

Anyway, let me know if you're interested, I'm happy to report the good, bad, and ugly.

Hope you're having a good Saturday. If I don't break the camera, I may post a few of the photos here to see if there are any good ones to use.

The Day After...

2009-10-16T09:41:00.001-07:00

Okay, I'm still floating from my poetry news yesterday. A few of you may have received odd emails from me between 2-4:30 am in the morning because yes, I was awake.

Apparently, good news creates adrenalin in me causing me not to be able to sleep. I usually deal with bad stress by taking a nap as sleeping is my defensive mechanism, however it seems good news keeps me up. Who knew?

There were so many weird synchronicities about this news. Jeannine was ready to call me at 9 am yesterday to tell me she had a dream I won a book prize. My friend A, when returning my call said, "You won a book prize, didn't you?" The request to the universe thing. The odd coincidences that have been happening in my life. And what is great is that it was still a huge surprise to me.

And what has been incredible wonderful is all the emails, facebook notes, comments, phone calls of people calling to say, Congratulations. I am overwhelmed and touched at the generosity of you all and really so appreciative of all the support from both poets and not-poets!

Anyway, I don't want to turn this into a virtual Oscar speech, but I do want to make sure you know how much I appreciate the good wishes and support. It is inspiring to me as a writer and I am saving all your notes, messages, comments, voicemails, so I can return to them when the news isn't so good and I am feeling like a 1) fraud 2) loser 3) wannabe 4) funkmaster K 5) rejected poet.

But I am trying to keep this "I can't believe I won" feeling going for a bit. I'm kind of enjoying it. A lot.

* * *