Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Confession Tuesday - the Comfort Zone Edition



Dear Reader,

It's been a week of the-chick-can't-handle-the-stress and just craziness in my life.  As someone who doesn't crave drama or being overly-busy, some who is in love with her comfort zone, I've been trying to breathe.

I feel I haven't been around this blog too much, let's talk about that, that and how I need to expand my comfort zone a bit. . .

To the confessional--

I confess I haven't been blogging as much because I've had quite a few writing projects going on and have been doing some consulting jobs with a couple poets.

As a freelance writer, poet, and editor, I struggle with the money-thang.  Trying to make sure I have enough to keep the family fed, clothed, and warm, but also making sure I have time for my own writing.  It's been great to have some paying jobs lately as our expenses have been >= to what we're bringing in.

However, when things get too hectic for me, the blog loses.

Today I even thought about putting a "donate" button on my blog then decided that felt cheesy (no offense to anyone who has one).  I have kept my blog ad-free (I tried adsense once and it wasn't a good feeling).

I enjoy keeping a blog because I know many of you have contacted me and said this blog makes you feel good or you enjoy it or it helps you with your own writing or...  

But lately, I've felt I haven't had anything of interest to blog about.  And I don't like.

I want you to come here and read interesting relevant things, not about how I had a new stove in the middle of my living room for a week and that I woke up and realized how much I hate the word "tippy-toe" (which is true, that happened yesterday).

I think I might be in one of those dips where I'm pulled with other projects and jobs-- maybe I won't be here as much until things even out or we've caught up on our bills.

But we know I'll be here next month for the Big Poetry Giveaway--that will give me a few things to blog about in the next weeks!

~

I confess I'd like a patron.  And a trophy.  Just putting that out there Universe.

~

I confess I have totally broken my New Year's Resolution about only going on Facebook only on Fridays.  I have also broken my habit of sketching daily.

I don't really have anything to add about this except more proof I am not anywhere close to perfect, though I could have told you that long before I broke these resolutions.

~

I confess the most imperfect thing about me is that I have a hard time feeling normal when  I'm in that in-between spot in life, the climax of the story before the ending.

I love my comfort zone.  We're kind of best friends.

And I like beginnings and can tolerate ends, but it's that middle period that always gets me.

A good friend told me that when I'm in that spot I should enjoy it and look for possibilities.  I'm going to try this instead of trying to run to the ending, finishing things up.  Basically, I'm not crazy about the "unknown" part of life-- um, which is pretty much every day of our lives if you think about.



Here's the thing, like the sign says, life (and growth) happens outside your comfort zone.

And I know this.  But I was the girl in the backseat of the car with a bag of snacks.  I am the person who arrives early so I know where something is, but doesn't want to be the first one in the door.  I thrive on routine... way too much than I should.

So I'm going to try to appreciate those moments when I'm out of my comfort zone and what I can learn from them.  I'm sure many have learned this lesson a long time ago, but I learned always bring an extra pair of socks and have snacks.  Or "why risk it?"



So here's why I am -- wanting to live a wildly adventurous life where I am happy-go-lucky and playing it safely.

I confess I've been here all my life.

Amen.

P.S.  If anyone would like to share a time where you took a risk and it worked out, I'd love to hear it!  (Comments can be anonymous to protect the innocent sharers...)













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