Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Being in the Present & Synchronicity...Or How a TV Drama Can Change Your Life

For the last couple weeks I've been weirdly emotional (both good and bad, but mostly bad).

Last night I was trying to tell my husband about the final scene on the last Grey's Anatomy episode and I was holding back tears and could hardly tell it to him because I was so shaken/moved by it.

(If you're interested-- Basically, one of the storylines had this woman who was so upset her boyfriend didn't get her a ring on Valentine's day that when she received a necklace he gave her, she threw it at him and ran out of the house.  He chased after her and was hit by a car.

The next scene is kind of funny where they are pulling up in an ambulance, he's bloody and she's yelling at him for not proposing (He knows I want a ring).  As the show goes on, the girlfriend is still mad, can't believe she's wasted her time with this guy who wouldn't propose, etc etc.  Of course, doctors realize that the boyfriend has internal injuries and needs surgery about midway through the show.  As all good dramas go, he dies.  He dies and they tell the girlfriend who is heartbroken and realizes, I didn't need a ring, I just needed him.

The last scene is one of the doctors putting the dead boyfriend's final possessions into a bag and she sees the necklace he bought the woman who is now full of regret, it's a heart locket.  She opens it and in scratched in blue pen are the words "Will you marry me?"

I, of course, like any normal person gasp, "Oh no!" and start crying.  (Have I mentioned that my family just *loves* watching Grey's Anatomy with me; I'm a complete stress-case through every episode)).

The image that made me gasp.

So yesterday, Valentine's Day morning I walked out to my driveway to say goodbye to my daughter before she headed off to school and I looked down and saw 2 silver hearts, when I picked it up, I realized it was a locket... just like the one in the show.

inside my found locket

It looks as if it's been driven over, but the thing is, we have no ideas whose it is, where it came from, but the fact I found it on Valentine's Day wasn't lost on me.

Outside of found locket

I pick up the locket and immediately think of Grey's Anatomy (and I also think of my dad who died when I was 22).

I think about the lesson on the show-- how the woman didn't appreciate what she had and just wanted more, a little more...

In the last 2-3 weeks, I've been living about 6-8 years ahead of my regular life.  I've been thinking about the future and where I'm going and what I'll be doing and where I will live. Some people use wine or television or food or movies or overworking or running to escape, I use the John L. Scott website.

And here's the problem, when I live in the future I'm not appreciating today.

~

I mentioned to my doctor at my yearly visit that I've been feeling down and my anxiety has been sneaking up on me lately.  I sort of see my anxiety as the least-favorite friend who doesn't have your best interest at heart and arrives with the motto, "Trust me, I'm here to help..."

My doctor being a granola-girl herself, doesn't prescribe any medications for me, but instead prescribes this book The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle, which oddly enough I had just borrowed from my mum's library the day before.

~

Don't get me wrong, I don't think it's bad to want more.  Or to dream a better life for yourself.  But I think lately, I've been living in the future because I haven't been satisfied with the present.  I haven't been grateful for what I have now.

In 6-8 years, I do not know what and who I'll have around me.  So my future world is fantasy. I'm trying to make choices or plans based on a scenario I have no idea about.

~

So yesterday was a kind of kick-in-the-pants day.

I've had quite a few bits of synchronicity happen lately--the locket, receiving a reading request, the Power of Now book, and a few dreams.   I feel more connected to the world around me, which is a good place for me to be given that my emotions and have be rollercoastering me through my life lately.

I'm keeping the locket on my shelf in front of my desk, so I see it every day.  A reminder that magic happens and that if I'm not in the moment, I'll miss it.

~

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6 comments:

Barry Napier said...

My wife is a big fan of Grey's. While I'm not a fan, that friggin show can REALLY pull you in. I watched the 2-3 episodes this season where (SPOILERS) they made one doctor peform surgery on another dr's husband only to have him die...meanwhile the newly widowed Dr. is performing surgery in another room and when she needs assistance, the Dr. who just came out of the failed surgery on her husband had to help.

Whew...it sounds TOTALLY cheesy explaining it like that, but it was very well written. Who comes up this stuff?

Kells said...

I had *stopped!* watching it until 2 weeks ago and now I'm hooked in again. I missed all last season, I'm not trying to figure out who broke up with who and how McDreamy and wife got a baby!

But yes, it totally pulls you in, I should have known better and never watched another episode!

PoetMama said...

I love this post. I am a big believer in synchronicity and things showing up when we need a "kick in the ass".... That locket is something else--all smashed up and tarnished, but I love how it now represents something so vital in your everyday life. I will also take your lesson away with me.

And Grey's? Oh boy--like you, I gave up all last season, but now I'm thinking I'll go back! I'll "Hulu" it on up! :-)

Thanks for your writings!

Joannie said...

Yay for the synchronicity. And several years ago, my doctor recommended The Power of Now. A few years later, I got around to reading it, and I've found it to be a good reminder (when I start spiraling into all my anxieties, I remember that I can breathe and be here now). Best wishes!

Brenda Miller said...

Yes, I cried at that scene too! And yes Grey's Anatomy is one of those shows I just keep watching long after it's run through all plausible story lines....

Such a beautiful story about the locket? Maybe your ghost left it for you?

Kells said...

Brenda,

Recently, on my birthday when my mum dropped me in my driveway, we had been talking about my dad (who died in '92), when I got out of the car I found a penny and she said, "I think your dad threw that down for you..." I found the locket pretty much in the same spot.

Ghost, may be the exact right answer on this. Fatherghost. Dadspirit...

And on Valentine's day.

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