Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Confe$$ion Tuesday...



Dear Reader,

It's been one week of finishing projects since I last wrote.  It feels so good to finish something, to make a check and mark it off your list.  Ahhh...

But now it's time to confess all the things I'm thinking about and yes, possible small sins, but mostly, just the details of my life I don't usually talk about or maybe things I noticed this week...

To the confessional--

I confess I've really felt stretched in the money department.

After the $eptic $ystem fix, a recent splurge on kayak/surfboards (though they were a great deal!), my daughter's school and school shopping, car fixes, and just the things that make up life's every day needs, I have actually come to the place where my stomach knots if someone in my household asks for something or in fact, just typing this right now is making my left eye hurt.

I know it will get better and that sometimes we are in these places of tight spots, but I don't like the person this worry/fretting makes me.

I try to feel grateful about how much we have (we work hard and play hard), but sometimes I'd like to be in a place where I can just buy something without having to budget for it or even question if I can afford it.  We've been discussing next year's vacation and we are definitely going to need to cut back (or make more) if we want to go to the places my family has been suggesting.   I used the term "staycation" in the conversation and no one was impressed with that suggestion.

I confess saying that I want to buy what I want when I want it without thinking about it sounds a little selfish and I know as a friend once told me, "having to be creative with money makes one a more creative person," but I don't think you have to be poor to be an artist and well, I think it would be kind of cool buy a pair of Uggs for winter without having to worry about the price tag. Oprah, if you're reading this, I take a size 9.    Thanks.

I confess that last confession makes me feel a little shallow for coveting Uggs.  Though I know there is at least one poet reading this who has a pair and her feet are toasty warm!

I confess the most overused term in these hard economic times is "these hard economic times."

I confess to feel better about money, I think about art and artists and poetry and writing.  I am currently working on manuscript three and it's while it's currently terrible and a big mess it's my mess and I'm excited about it. And yes, I'm working on it.

Mostly, I have a lot of poems thrown into a file and I'm calling it a manuscript.  I should be calling it Messy Bessy or These-Papers-are-Overwhelming-Me because that's really what it does when I work on it.

I would rather be overwhelmed by my poems than by money.  And actually, I'd rather not be overwhelmed, but will choose poetry over anything to be overwhelmed by if given the choice.

When I feel overwhelmed, I always turn to gratitude.  There's going to be a lot of gratitude this week.   And for me to be thankful for all I do have.  And I have a lot.

Amen.

11 comments:

Radish King said...

Coveting the Uggs myself especially this week. Definitely. I even perused the Nordstrom online catalog for the new ones. Bad idea! Still. I covet away.
xo

Jeannine said...

Uggs are doctor recommended for people with Reynaud's syndrome! Well, at least my doc said, "You should always have a pair of those with you, they are great for Reynaud's." And therefore I have medical justification. Plus, I'm not buying any heels! Just think of the money we're saving not buying any fancy strappy high heeled sandals! (PS If you are a size 8 M and you would like some gently worn heels, let me know!)
PS Zappos has some Uggs (including pink ones) on sale right now. I try not to pay full price for Uggs. I also peruse the Nordstrom Rack on occasion for them.
PSS I have been having total money anxiety all year. This comes from living in an expensive state for two years with very little income. Remind me never to move out of state again!

Nin Andrews said...

Yes, I agree with Jeanine. One must have a pair of UGGS. And I am thankful for your blog posts. I love Confession Tuesday. I have never been good at confessions, I must confess, so I take great pleasure in yours.

Kells said...

Rebecca-- Ah, Nordstroms... I knew it once. ;-)

J9-- Maybe my doc can write me a prescription for Uggs too-- something like "Uggs help with the fragile emotional state of my patient and would make her feel better about her feet." ;-)

I think there are A LOT of us having $$ anxiety right now!

xo to you both

Langdon Cook said...

Loved reading this. I feel for you, esp re: the $eptic $ystem blues.

I also covet Uggs. Instead, I own a pair of fuzzy slipper boots. they are made of sheep wool, i think, and they cost way less ... but they are NOT uggs.

Ugh.

I should also call my ms. thingie a Messy Bessy. Can we be Messy Bessy sisters?

Martha Silano said...

P.S, J9: I am a size 8, but my feet are WIDE. I do not know if M is even close to wide enough. Oh, and BTW, don't forget Goodwill for cheap shoes. I got a lovely pair of black strappy heels for $7.99 at the Goodwill on Rainier.

And PSS,(harrrrr!) I think I just posted a message as Langdon Cook. For clarification purposes, I am (and have always been) Martha Silano, and even more clarifying, Lang does not covet Uggs. I swear! Nor does he wish to be your sister ...

Martha Silano said...

P.S, J9: I am a size 8, but my feet are WIDE. I do not know if M is even close to wide enough. Oh, and BTW, don't forget Goodwill for cheap shoes. I got a lovely pair of black strappy heels for $7.99 at the Goodwill on Rainier.

And PSS (harrrrr!) I think I just posted a message as Langdon Cook. For clarification purposes, I am (and have always been) Martha Silano, and even more clarifying, Lang does not covet Uggs. I swear! Nor does he wish to be your sister ...

PSSS My word verification is SUBSIN. Is this kind of deep, deep sinning thing i have going on? If so, how confessionally Tuesday-ish!

Lyle Daggett said...

Just for some perspective, for what it's worth --

I've gone through each winter for years with just an ordinary pair of sneakers. This, mind you, in Minneapolis.

It takes some will, and some becoming inured to the cold and snow and ice, but it can be done.

donnadcowan said...

Hi Kelli,

We are in the same place - I'm at home with two little kids trying to spend as little as possible, amid all the online temptations. And I am on the Nordstrom email list, so I get Ugg updates almost weekly. Delete!

Wanted to let you know, my book cover was just posted on the Cherry Grove website, with that familiar artwork. Check it out if you have a chance: http://www.cherry-grove.com/cowan.html

Take care! Donna

Kells said...

Marty-- I was intrigued about Lang coveting uggs and wanting to me my sister, it was a very bizarre world for a moment. And yes, I am definitely looking at Goodwill and consignment shops for a cheap pair!

Lyle-- I once wore my Doc Marten boots out in the snow because they were all I had. I ended up at a neighbor's within ten minutes borrowing her husband's snowboots. I have the coldest feet ever. Winter only makes them dip into negative temperatures! (I am amazed you could do sneakers!)

Donna-- WOW! THERE it IS! -- Gorgeous cover!! wonderful & congrats!

TC said...

"When I feel overwhelmed, I always turn to gratitude."

What a pleasant thought. How rare.

Related Posts with Thumbnails