Tuesday, October 06, 2009
(maybe that can be the title for one of your writing prompts)
Again, from the roadside shrine, Union, WA
Forgive me, when I read January's confessions I thought they were mine.
I've a lot to confess, I better get started.
To the confessional--
The Future Self I Don't Want To Be--
I was annoyed with a male poet at a reading recently. I want to say more, but let's just say it brought out insecurities in myself. I don't want to be reading the same poems 10 years from now.
The Ying & the Yang
Sometimes I don't understand why a bad day always has to mess up a string of good days. And why the bad day always feels more intense than the good days ever did. Or maybe I'm forgetting how happy I was.
I rode my first organized bike ride/race. 34 miles in 3 hours (including breaks). I felt a satisfaction afterwards and I finally understood why people do such things (i.e. triathlons, marathons, etc.) It was the first time I ever put slicks on my mountain bike and did a road ride that long. I think I felt powerful in a new way.
This week I did something really petty and I thought I would remember it to tell you today. I thought, "Yes, this is definitely a confession that shows my shallowness." Of course, I forgot. Just trust me, I am flawed and shallow. And I guess you can add absent-minded as I can't remember what I did.
I learned there was a dream home for sale in my community. I couldn't afford it, but went to look at it anyway this morning because I'm a dreamer that way. When I arrived, I learned it was a friend's home. Her and her family have to sell it because of financial difficulties. They've had this dream home for over 20 years and have been raising their kids in it. I felt so terrible to learn they can no longer keep it, I have spent the whole day close to tears. There is a part of me that knows this could be any of us. There are a thousand more words I want to write here, but I'll end with these- survive, loss.
There are good people everywhere. We just don't always hear about them.
Quote of the week--
A good friend told me this recently--
"Attachment causes fatigue." Gawd, I agree to that!
I confess after 3 really good days (one that was my 16th year wedding anniversary), today wasn't my best day. Still, I am thankful for what I have.
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