Wednesday, July 01, 2009

Confession Wednesday (??)

I confess in the summer I lose track of which day it is. I confess Tuesday came and went without me confessing. I confess I've been busier than usual and this business of being busy makes time move faster and makes my "to-do" list become a "not done" list.

Since I'm late, let's begin...


Something has been a little wacky in my life lately and I'm not sure what it is.

I don't feel centered or grounded. Something's up. It could be be because we've been so busy lately, but it feels different than that. I haven't been to yoga in quite a while and that was really a place where I sort of centered myself. Maybe it's a lack of connection to something greater, but I know something is off with me, but I just can't put my finger on it.

I realize that yoga needs to be a part of my life.

My friend hosted a mom/daughter slumber party and I was up until 1 a.m. playing RockStar. I got 100% in my vocals singing Survivor's Eye of the Tiger & Duran Duran's Hungry Like a Wolf. I'm not a good singer, but I know all the words.

Sometimes I think there's a large portion of my brain is being wasted because it is filled up completely with song lyrics.

I didn't have coffee until 10:45 am yesterday and I was amazed I didn't have a headache.

I went to go to our of drive-thru espresso stands only to find out they have converted it from normal espresso stand to "bikini barista" espresso stand. There was no way in Kansas I was taking my 8 year old daughter through a bikini barista stand, though honestly, she would have just thought they were in their bathing suits because it was hot outside.

I ended up getting my coffee from the Covey Coffee drive thru. It was owned by a smiling middle-aged woman in a yellow sweater and run by two fully-clothed young ladies. Plus there was an image of a bird on their coffee cup.

I always get a large black drip coffee. No cream. No sugar. In my small town, there's a stand where they are $1. Here I paid $2.19

Sometimes I look at my home and wonder how I acquired all this cr*p. I would like to simplify my life again. I read The Circle of Simplicity by Cecile Andrews every fall, but I need to make sure I take time to keep its lessons in my mind throughout the year.

Eventually, I would like to downsize. I'd like to rent a small cabin on the water or rent an apartment. Of course, this probably will not be until my daughter is out of school, but I realize I am not a big house, big yard gal. I am not my khakis.


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4 comments:

  1. I am so glad I have articulate friends to express what I am feeling! Your words about not feeling centered or grounded...that whole paragraph...describes what I have been trying in vain to express.

    Summer used to be so much fun. As I grow up (?) it shifts and changes.

    I will rent a cabin next door to you!

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  2. Ah, coffee... I knew I liked there were other reasons I liked you (I mean, besides your poetry). No cream or sugar either??? My kind of gal. I certain hope you find a way to center yourself more with the coming weeks. I certainly know what it's like to feel unbalanced. I appreciate reading your thoughts on it.

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  3. moonlight, wind
    in the leaves -- more than enough
    to fill up the house

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  4. Tuesday came and went without me checking confessions. Ugh.

    I actually do feel centered and grounded--everything else in my life is in a state of upheaval.

    But whenever I don't feel grounded, I rely on an old actor's technique. I tell myself to "feel the floor," which is a conscious effort to be in the moment, to feel my feet touching the floor. Works every time.

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