Dear Readers, it's been 2 weeks since my last confession. Since sin has been spoken on this site. Forgive me. I have been away and floating. A cruise to Alaska with my family. We saw more whales from the boat than I've ever seen. Amazing.
But it wasn't all perfect, er, I wasn't always perfect. Let me confess...
I confess on the last day of my cruise an English man told me I was snapping my gum in his ear. Seriously. We weren't that close, so I'm guessing he had superhero hearing.
I confess that after he he said that I said, "Okay." Then proceed to snap my gum even louder. I apologize (and confess) I have the defense-mechanisms of a 16 year old girl and that I don't like to be told what to do. The Buddhist in me should have just recognized the moment for what it was, two tired souls waiting in line, but the troublemaker in me seemed to speak louder.
I confess sometimes my troublemaker speaks louder than my Buddhist.
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I confess that there were moments of absolute perfection on the cruise. Like seeing an orca whale so close to the boat I was able to get a nice photo of its tail with my cheap little camera. I confess I got more photos of the splash than the tail.
I confess in the excitement of wanting my camera, I left my daughter with a stranger.
I confess I didn't realize it was a stranger at the time, but what a saw was a man dressed exactly like my husband (khaki cargo shorts, blue t-shirt-- so it seems everyone was dressed this way once I noticed it).
But what I saw was my daughter standing next to this outfit aka "my husband" so I said, "Oh good, you're with dad, I'll go get my camera" and ran back to my room. When I returned, I bumped into said husband, and was surprised to find he was actually a very nice stranger-photographer man who was photographing the whales.
My daughter later told me that the photographer was explaining all about how orcas fish and what the whale was doing.
I confess when it comes to my daughter, I tend to see people I do not know as hazards/threats/pedophiles and I really need to change this belief, especially as she gets older.
I confess when it doesn't come to my daughter I see people as kind and generous... except for the cranky English man who I saw as self-centered. Like myself.
I confess when I heard that a husband murdered his wife on a cruise ship, I could actually understand wanting to strangle someone you are forced to share a small room with for 7 days.
I confess most of my days had strangle-free thoughts.
I confess little of my cruise had to do with poetry, but I know some of the images will wind up in my poems.
I confess I visited two old Russian Orthodox churches and lit a candle in one.
I confess in St. Michael's by the Sea my mum made me dip my new cross she bought me into the holy water. I confess I dripped some on the floor.
I confess that my husband and daughter want nothing to do with old churches on our vacations.
I confess in the old church in Sitka, I told my mum to "go behind the velvet ropes and sit on the 200 year old Bishop's Throne and I'll take your picture." I confess she got a little nervous with my suggestion. And I confess, we didn't do it.
I confess I have a bad habit of making inappropriate suggestions when we are in churches or traveling in general. I confess I never really want people to do what I suggest, but I enjoy watching people get nervous because they think I'm serious.
I confess the troublemaker in myself tends to be my favorite in-house comedian.
I confess I did not chew gum in the church.