Tuesday, April 07, 2009

Poem 7

Oh these are getting harder and I'm getting them done later and later!

Today's prompt from Poetic Asides--

Today is our first "Two for Tuesday" prompt of the month. On these days, I offer two prompts. Don't worry: You don't need to write a poem for each prompt (but you're more than welcome to if you feel up to the challenge).

Prompt #1: I want you to write a clean poem. Take this however you wish. Clean language, clean subject matter, or cleaning the dishes. Of course, some twisted few will automatically link "cleaning" with hired hitmen. That's okay, as long as your poem is somehow linked to clean.

Prompt #2: I want you to write a dirty poem. Take all that stuff I wrote in the first prompt and twist it upside down. The opposite of clean is dirty; so, do what ya gotta do to produce a dirty poem. (Gosh, I hope this challenge doesn't get too messy as a result.)





Voices in the Laundry


Forgive us

they said sheetly.


pooooof*

2 comments:

Kristin said...

I think I love this poem best so far--I will spend the whole day thinking of my laundry differently!

I thought I'd offer a revision suggestion--please forgive me if I'm about to overstep.

I think it would be stronger to end the poem with these lines (I've decided just to cut and paste, not to worry about preserving lines):

Don’t see us as a burden,
but a meditation—this is what you wear,
what you are

You could move these lines to the beginning of the stanza:

We know how sometimes
you despise us. We wish we could fold ourselves.

which would lead naturally to:

But we like how you hold us,
your fingers folding our corners, straightening
the crease.

Kells said...

Kristen, Thanks! I'm glad you like this and it's interesting to hear as it's been my least favorite so far! (And I wrote it after 11 pm feeling as if I just *needed* something.)

I like your revision by the way. I'm not attached to this poem at all so it's helpful for me to see it in new ways and I like what you suggested. Thank you!

Happy Wednesday!

Related Posts with Thumbnails