For this confession Tuesday I thought I'd focus on my faults. So here are some things about me that others may want to change, but honestly, this is just me.
I confess I am nowhere near perfect, not even close...
1) I had the choice to go to the gym or pick blackberries and make blackberry crisp. Can you guess what I chose? Yes, and I ate the blackberry crisp with vanilla ice cream and whipped cream because there is no better way to eat any warm crisp or cobbler. I go to the gym only because I like to eat dessert, not because I find it emotionally or physically satisfying in any way.
I recently heard a survey that 3 out of 4 people said they would take fruit over chocolate if given the choice for a snack. A week later, they secretly tested these people and most of them took the chocolate. I would have been right up front with everyone and been the 1 in 4 that would have said they'd take the chocolate to begin with.
2) I cannot have nice things-- Over the week, I've managed to break the R button off my laptop (it is currently superglued on and quite wonko, but useable) and my cat Eliot broke the very cool and colorful floor lamp my husband gave me for an anniversary about 5 years ago (smashed to the floor and shattered in all directions). I still wonder how a little cat could knock down such a big thing, but know, if he wouldn't have broken it, I probably would have down the road. I broke my other floor lamp by sending boxes down the stairs via gravity instead of carrying them.
3) I like Neil Diamond songs. I not only like this songs, I will be going to his concert. And I know this in advance-- I will be singing along.
4) I have an emotional attachment to my hair that when a haircut makes me look too different than how I normally look (even if it's for the better) I get a knot in my stomach. I am okay with change or changing my appearance, just very s-l-o-w-l-y.
5) I dog-ear pages of books.
6) I am terrible with names. I have recently started saying the person's name a few times after I first meet them to help me remember it. I always feel a bit weird reusing someone's name after I meet them--hi, I just met you, but I think I'm going to say your name 7 times so I don't forget it. Oh and when you forget my name, I'll try not to make you feel uncomfortable that I know yours.
7) I sometimes feel uncomfortable having a blog. Maybe it's a generational thing, but it seems like a very weird thing to have. In this case, it's like saying my own name 7 times to people I don't know.
I deleted my last blog and regretted it. But it's not something I share with people who are not writers because I think it sounds a little creepy to say, "Hi, I blog." Sort of like saying, "Hi, welcome to my home, do you want to look in my closets? my underwear drawer?"
Jeannine has always said I'm not shy in person, but shy online, and I think there's truth to that. While I'm happy to talk to most anyone in person, when it comes to online-- I always feel weird when a friend who is not a writer says they read my blog.
I don't think it's weird that other people have blogs, in fact, there are so many of you who I like to read. But I think it's sort of like having this open file drawer that anyone can look into and while I choose what I keep in those drawers, I can't choose who decides to sort through my files and that's kind of icky and maybe why so many people *don't* have blogs.
But I guess I do keep a blog because I've found the good outweighs the bad. And it is a way to connect with others and other writers. And it's a way to write. Still, I can't think too much about it about this because it sort of freaks me out.
8) As a child, I wrote a letters to Shaun Cassidy, Charles Schultz, and Mel Blanc. In fact, I'd write just about anyone a letter. For absolutely no reason, just to say hi. Now I wish I was still able to reach out to people I don't know like that. Maybe this is why I blog.
Monday, September 22, 2008